Moira's blog

How did you celebrate Valentine's Day?
Submitted by Stephen.

My boyfriend broke up with me. 

Thank you very much.

I know I haven't posted much of late because life has been a little bit hectic.  Working retail over the Christmas holiday was definitely an adventure that I am not sure I'll care to repeat next holiday season.  Somewhere in there I decided that I was going to toss out the cash to go and visit my boyfriend after the holiday hours let up and I actually just got back from Seattle and Jack.

I am not too happy at the moment because, quite honestly, all I want is to be with my boyfriend.  We are not bad at this long distance relationship thing.  We're both almost sickeningly devoted to each other.  But we really just want to be together which wouldn't be so much of a problem if he didn't live with my ex. 

Yeah, I just said it.  In my defense, the roommate and I weren't really together.  We just sort of had a fling before Jack and I got together.  It had the potential to be something serious but he called it off before it got there - something for which I am very grateful for because hindsight tells me I would have gotten tired of his point of view sooner rather than later.  We tried to be compatible but we were not.  I know this; he knew this.  But for some reason he has a vendetta against me anyway.  He tries to convince Jack that I am going to cheat on him, which is particularly cruel because Jack has horrible luck with women and this is something that has happened to him before.  I frequently have to remind him that I love him and that I would never cheat on him.  Among other reassurances that mostly revolve around Jack being ex-marine.  I don't mind, really, I love him.  Relationships are give and take and this is something that Jack needs that I can give. 

However ye old ex likes to rant about me whenever Jack has a free moment.  I am certain he doesn't think I am good enough for Jack, which is also amusing because he doesn't even know Jack.  Aha!  That was a pun!  But seriously, it's true.  Jack has this lovely tendency to perpetuate the idea that he's not so bright that makes people underestimate him.  Hell, I will admit to it, I was fooled when I first met him.  I believe I even said something along the lines to the roommate at one point - that I wouldn't be able to hold a conversation with him.  This is, actually, really not true.  First impressions are not always true, even if I was always attracted to Jack.  I should have known better than to start a fling with the other anyway.  But again, hindsight is always perfect, huh? 

So, anyway, Jack is stressed.  Between his job yanking him around and having to deal with his not so nice roommate rant about me, he's been very stressed.  And I feel bad.  But his suggestion is to take the easy way out, which for him is to lie to his roommate about our relationship.  This does not work for me.  You either love me or you don't.  You don't get to pick and choose.  So I got to be ultimatum girl for a little bit, which does not make me happy.  I don't like being that girl.  But we're agreed.  We'll work through this.  And I'll somehow manage to get back up there.  Except Seattle is scary with prices and I am not sure how I am going to manage to pull that off.

Though I was offered a job already.  I will probably also take a second job for the rest of the time I am here.

Something has to work out.  I'm just stressed in the meantime.

Even with the import that I do not attach to the Catholic dogma, one has to wonder why such a thing was seen as so bad that it was included in the list of the seven deadly sins along with such gems as wrath, greed, and lust.  As base as some of these sins may seem in our world today, they follow an underlying principle which I think many people should be able to enjoy.  One shouldn’t give into anger.  One should not let lust overpower love and family.  One should not covet stuff because then they’ll miss the important things.  One should not eat everything in front of them because it is not healthy.  The general message is one that people of all faiths should be able to appreciate. 

There is a lot of ‘pride’ going around these days.  In fact it almost looks like an epidemic from certain angles.  American pride, gay pride, feminist pride, Anti-American pride, and ‘Family Values’ prides are just from the top of my head.  It’s all across the board; right wing and left wing both seem to be suffering from an overabundance of pride.

I am an American woman.  I am not proud of this.  Nor is the previous statement a manifesto of my being anti-American and a person who believes that I belong barefoot and in the kitchen.   I just am.  I am content with the person I am and believe that everyone should be so lucky to find some sense of contentment when they measure themselves.

When I picture someone who is proud to be an American, unfortunately the image that follows is of someone who does not follow world news, does not listen to all of the arguments, may not know ‘the difference between Iraq and Iran’, wants to stick a boot up the ass of anyone who, well, isn’t us.  Now, intelligently I know that not all ‘patriots’ are like this but there is a line where being too proud of something crosses the line into looking down on everyone else and considering them to be below our notice. 

This is not just an American thing either.  Anytime I have heard someone say that they are proud to be from a place; it usually follows with a long list of why said place is better than another place.  These lists are not always full of the most well informed judgments.  The way I see it, no one place comes out completely on top.  There is the good and the bad wherever you may roam.  Unfortunately this means you’re going to have to find a place where you can put up with the bad.

Feminist pride would have me feel guilty about preparing a meal for my boyfriend because such things are now below me as a woman.  We have now moved on past that.  Let me just say, I have not moved on enough to let my klutz of a boyfriend anywhere near a stove and that many kitchen knives.  For the most part I love being a woman; though I will never claim any lost love for my cramps. 

And it’s probably better for me to not start on gay pride or the accompanying straight pride.  Honestly, that one falls under the category, for me, of I don’t care what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom.  You don’t see people starting watersports or breathplay pride groups.  (If you do not know what those are, please see Wikipedia as I feel no need to link that from my blog.) 

Why should anyone be proud of something that they had no control over?  Say, like where they were born or what gender, race, or sexual orientation they are.  If for a moment you have to slip up and fall prey to one of the seven deadly sins, be proud of something you’ve done!  Be proud that you volunteered 100+ hours to the cause of your choice or that something you wrote changed someone’s life.  Be proud that you are a teacher and still learning. 

But for the most part, just be yourself and try to love yourself that way. 

Every girl between certain ages knows of Kotex's unfortunate slogan that that they dropped on us last year. Have a Happy Period! Every girl worth her salt blinked a few times and shook their head upon hearing this. Periods aren't happy, why would anyone wish us a happy period. It must have been a man's work to come up with that particular gem of a slogan.

But you know, Kotex makes rather good and not hellishly expensive products so we keep using them.

This last time around, I bought Playtex's new Sport tampons. They have really good advertising, what can I say? So lo and behold, last night I find that they have words on their packaging and the first one I pick out is "It's just your period... deal with it!"

My tampons just told me to just deal with my period.

I had to admit, when I first told my roommate Lindsey her reaction was annoyed anger. Mine was frank disbelief followed by an amused shrug. In the end, I never tell myself to have a happy period and am much more prone to telling myself to just shut up and deal with the pain. But this was my tampons telling me to do this. I wasn't sure what to make of this.

"It's just your period... deal with it!" is a woman's marketing idea if I ever saw one. And part of the reason that female gynecologists and I never hit it off. A woman thinks she understands your monthly pain and if you complain about it, she will, in fact tell you to 'deal with it' rather than give you medication to take the edge off. Some women just don't know how painful it can be for others; they have never had to 'deal with' that pain. I don't suppose that I've suffered the worst of all women-kind, but I've had some days where all I could do was curl up and cry with a heating pad so I'll wager that some women just can't 'deal with it' like others.

It's a very harsh marketing scheme. Though admittedly, they do also have some very upbeat slogans on other wrappers. I understand the sentiment and I think all women would, but I don't think we want to be told that by others.

Not a smart move, Playtex.

When it starts to get cold outside, I always begin to drink more tea.  I don't normally notice when it starts to happen.  A few weeks ago at work, much to my delight, I discovered that we have a selection of herbal teas and one just happens to be a personal favorite blend of Chamomile and Hibiscus with slight hints of peppermint. 

When you drink tea, there is a burst of warmth that follows it down.  (Granted, the same also happens with tequila...)  Even if the herbs did not have a calming effect on a person, this alone would keep it the same.  The warmth of the tea curled in your fingers when it is below 20 degrees outside is invaluable.

I'll admit to being a purist.  I drink all my teas with nothing in them.  Why would I mask the flavor of the tea with something like lemon, milk, or honey? (There are exceptions to this, one being premixed Arizona green tea with honey but that is meant to be served cold and has no place in this post.)  I'll drink any sort of tea, providing there are no fruit flavors in them.  I must admit a certain amount of horror passes through me when I think of Orange Spice Tea.  But caffienated, decaffienated, black, white, and earl gray... these are a few of my favorite things.

Sweet dreams

Now this is one of my favorite teas, and indeed the one I am curled into my computer chair with at this very moment.  Chamomile tea is always a bonus, though unlike most people, I enjoy to drink it in the morning.

When I start my day off with a nice calming herbal tea, I find myself on a whole, less stressed as the day goes by.  (Of course, I paired it with cold homemade white pizza for breakfast this morning so there might be no accounting for taste.)  Going through work, when we get slammed to the ears, and I've drank my Sweet Dreams tea everything just sort of gets done in it's own time and I don't worry about it. 

These are the effects of a nice cup of tea.  And if you need your caffiene, there are varieties that cater to that.  Though I prefer drinking caffiene before my relaxing tea.  Yes, I am the girl who will drink a 24oz. Rockstar Juiced and then drink my tea.  Strangely enough, that works for me.  You just have to find the right balance.

We drink far too much Starbucks in this country; more tea for all!

So I've been watching this wonderful Vox, Recipes, and every day I get spammed with some of the most brilliant sounding dishes.  A few days ago, she posted a recipe for Parmasean Stuffing Crusted Chicken Breast.  Today, between my god awful split shift I decided to make my day better by making it.

It's awesome.

And I heartily regret not owning a digital camera so I could share it with you.  I had stuffing crusted chicken breast, brocolli and herb stuffing (what was left from the coating on the chicken), and home made macaroni and cheese.  I am happily stuffed now.  (Hah! Punny!)

Maybe later I'll try that procuitto wrapped scallops though I fear I'd be the only person in my house who would enjoy them. (However my co-workers have insisted I can bring any trials in for them to taste test but then I'd fear that they'd decide I shouldn't be waiting on tables but cooking.)

me and all my friends
we're all misunderstood
they say we stand for nothing and
there's no way we ever could
now we see everything that's going wrong
with the world and those who lead it
we just feel like we don't have the means
to rise above and beat it

so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change

I just have to stop and say, because it's been bothering me since I first heard this song several months ago, that I hate this song.  I hate what it says.  I know it's true, but that doesn't stop me from hating it.

In other news, The Nine on ABC last night was fantastic.  I am enjoying this way too much.  Who would have thought that character studies would make fantastic television?  Me.  Oh yeah, I had to watch once I learned the premise.

And I blame Liz for giving me the urge to go shopping for new books. 

Two of my favorited pastimes.  I'm just highly confused as to how no one put up the one clip that I wanted up.

"What's it called when a hell hole hits a cataclysm?......

A catastrofuck"

How could this lovely moment not have spawned it's own YouTube clip? 

This was aired on the third.  Seriously, does no one else see that this is the best word ever?  If I had the stuff to TiVo it, I would have posted it myself.  Bleh.

Depression might just be the new fad in sickness.  People can't just be 'alright' anymore.  And when one finds a moment of happiness and decides to share it, people just don't seem to get it.  I've spent most of my life, like everyone else in this generation, being not alright.

Yes, everyone relates to low points in your life.  We all have them.  What's not to relate to?  I worry, though, why no one can relate to the good parts?  For the majority of the world, the good parts should outweigh the bad.

I've never expected blinding happiness in my life; I try to look for joy in the small things and take what joys I can when I have them.  Isn't there an old adage?  Stop and smell the roses. 

When someone is happy, people around them look at this as an odd thing.  Are we really incapable now of looking up and congratuating someone on how far they have come?  Is being happy that big of a unreachable dream that we must feel jealousy for the people who manage it for a few moments?   Or worse, just plain apathy! 

We're killing happiness. 

Depression is the new black.  Emo is in.